Picks, Week 15

Week 15, where the Eagles should officially be laid to rest, and one fantasy football team attempts to earn a place in the superbowl while the other attempts to avoid a last-place finish in the consolation bracket.  

Thursday Night Pick:

ATLANTA (-13.5):  Rookie QB…in a dome…off a short week…against a team that will be pumped up to play.  This has rout written all over it.  If the Jags hadn’t dropped 41 last week against the hapless Buccaneers, who somehow forgot to address the single offensive threat on the field from the Jags, then this line could have been even more obscene.  Actually, this line was -11 a couple days ago…shows where the money is headed.

Atlanta 30, Tampa Bay 13

Saturday Night Pick::

TAMPA BAY (+7):  Short week of preparation for the visitors, a quarterback who seems allergic to the month of December, and the disheartening turnaround following a dispiriting loss to the Giants.  As for the Bucs, they are rather miserable themselves.  Something tells me that they'll find a way to perform respectably tonight, even if I am sitting Mr. Blount on two fantasy football teams given my frustration with his and his team's inconsistency.  When in doubt, take a touchdown and hope Jerry Jones intimidates his players much like the giant, green, wizard of oz that he is...

Tampa Bay 24, Dallas 23

BUFFALO (-1):  Last week, Miami looked utterly lost against an Eagles team that looks utterly lost against almost anyone competent.  However, with half of their offensive line sidelined with injuries, competence was too much to hope for.  I think the Bills have enough to win a cold-weather game at home against a team from Florida.  Tough call here, but I’ll take the home team.

Buffalo 21, Miami 20

Seattle (+3.5):  After watching the Bears offense, or lack thereof without Cutler and Forte, I cannot see how laying more than a field goal would make sense.  Figure one or two “beast” runs from Lynch, a couple legitimate throws down the field, and then, just enough defense to produce a mistake or two from Hanie.  That should, at a minimum, make this a field goal game.

Chicago 17, Seattle 16

INDIANAPOLIS (+6.5):   The Colts looked awful against the Ravens last week (though I suppose, they still did cover).  Nonetheless, the Titans have been an inconsistent team, with an inconsistent running game, and at this point, dimming playoff hopes.  I’ve been burned repeatedly with Indy this season…why not just watch the burn scar over…

Tennessee 20, Indianapolis 17

Green Bay (-13):  Until proven otherwise. Greg Jennings is a legitimate loss, but frankly, Aaron Rodgers can probably throw most able-bodied young men open on a football field.  The Packers have plenty of targets to spread the wealth, and I have never once felt optimistic about the return of Kyle Orton.  The Packers won’t exactly name their own score in Arrowhead as they did last weekend, but then again, I doubt the Chiefs will do much scoring.

Green Bay 34, Kansas City 16

Cincinnati (-7):  The Rams are awful, and today, will be playing without Sam Bradford.  Of course, given his previous performances, that loss seems somewhat diminished.  Steven Jackson will continue to toil in purgatory, with no opportunity to showcase his talents for a team with which they would matter.  Meanwhile, the Bengals are gunning for Dalton’s first playoff appearance. 

Cincinnati 20, St. Louis 10

New Orleans (-9):  Christian Ponder is not healthy.  Adrian Peterson will probably not be fed then ball 40 times in his first game back from injury.  Minnesota’s secondary is so ineffective that Tim Tebow scored 25 points against them.  Now they tangle with Drew Brees.  Even with the Saints obvious disparity in performance on the road, I cannot see the Vikings keeping up on the scoreboard.

New Orleans 31, Minnesota 13

NEW YORK GIANTS (-5.5):  While this seems exactly like the type of game the Giants would lose following their dramatic comeback against the Cowboys, unfortunately, to pick the Redskins, one must back Rex Grossman on the road.  That would be beyond my powers of justification.  A Giants win today eliminates the Eagles from the playoff hunt (an end which is long overdue).  They’ll get it here.

New York 27, Washington 20

Carolina (+6):  Cam Newton and T.J. Yates.  Given the almost indescribable disparity in talent between those two quarterbacks, to back the Texans, and lay a touchdown in doing so, one must posit that the offensive and defensive lines of the Texans are so dominant that any NFL-quarterback becomes a superbowl contender behind them.  The funny thing is, I am almost willing to make such a statement.  Almost, but not quite.

Houston 20, Carolina 17

Detroit (+1):  With an angry and well rested boy named Suh, the Lions defensive line should be formidable once again.  Kevin Smith, though he is rarely healthy, is slated to start this game, and should be a dangerous weapon against an Oakland defense that has struggled against the ground game all season long.  Detroit can smell the playoffs, even with their recent slide.  They’ll come out firing.

Detroit 27, Oakland 23

DENVER (+9):  Five years ago, there was a Monday Night Football game in which the Eagles played during the public struggle between Donovan McNabb and Terrell Owens.  Bill Simmons, in his column picking the game simply listed his pick, then wrote “Mcnabb, T.O., McNabb, T.O., McNabb, T.O.” as the lines of a script read by John Madden, and the remaining commentators.  I have an urge to simply write “Brady, Tebow, Brady, Tebow, Brady, Tebow…Skip Bayless, Brady, Tebow, Brady, Tebow, Jesus, Brady, Tebow, Brady, Tebow…”  Tom Brady is what, 1-5 in Denver?  The Pats cannot stop anyone from putting some points on the board, even with the hooded-mastermind roaming the sidelines.  The “correct” decision, given the inexplicable sequence of charmed events favoring the Broncos, is to take the nine points.  Meanwhile, if Brady somehow finds himself injured during this game and the Broncos squeak out a victory, superstar players might eschew competition against this seemingly anointed wunderkind, fearing diving retribution about their bodies.  Can’t wait to watch this game.

New England 27, Denver 24

New York Jets (+3):  The Eagles beat a thoroughly broken Dolphins team.  Let’s avoid falling into the expectation that they will ever play up to the talent of their roster this season.  The Eagles don’t win at home either, finding countless ways to rip the hearts out of their fans.  Of course, as a means of spite, they could win a couple games to damage what might have otherwise been a valuable draft pick.  I should consider myself blessed that I can watch Tebow & Brady during this hour.

New York Jets 21, Philadelphia 20

Cleveland (+6.5):  I cannot see how John Skelton, facing a solid defense, deserves to lay a touchdown.  The Browns are a disaster, I get it, but how are their offensive woes so different from previous weeks?  They tend to keep games close, and I suppose they will do so here.  This may be the most unwatchable game of the week.

Arizona 20, Cleveland 16

SAN DIEGO (+1.5):  An east coast team travels to the west coast to face a disappointing, but somewhat frisky team following a relatively easy win.  Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.  While the Chargers have given anyone watching countless reasons to lack confidence, Flacco can instill the very same uncertainty in his backers.  This game will be decided by a field goal at the end.  If Rivers can hold on to the snaps on the final drive, I’ll bet it’s his team kicking it.

San Diego 24, Baltimore 23

Pittsburgh (+3):  San Francisco is not at this level.  Facing a team that entered this season believing it could win a superbowl, playing a conservative game of minimizing mistakes and allowing the defense to do the heavy lifting is insufficient.  Against the majority of the NFL, simply holding on the football, playing solid defense, and kicking field goals is probably a winning strategy.  Unfortunately, against the two teams on their schedule currently slated to make the playoffs, they are 0-2.

Pittsburgh 20, San Francisco 12