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Sunday, December 11, 2011

Picks, Week 14

Week 14, where the Eagles decide if they can avoid the dubious distinction of a four-win season, where the Monday night matchup is beyond dull, and one fantasy teams struggles to rise from the ashes once more. 

Picks:

CINCINNATI (-3):  T.J. Yates on the road, sans Andre Johnson, against a legitimate defense, in a game the Bengals absolutely must have.  I recognize that the Texans are formidable along both lines…but this rookie 3rd stringer had one pick-six called back for a phantom defensive holding call and several other throws that looked seriously questionable.  Arian Foster is not Barry Sanders – not enough to change the outcome.
Cincinnati 20, Houston 13

Minnesota (+9.5):  Without the boy named Suh, I suspect Joe Webb and company will at least move the ball.  Detroit, having implemented a zero-tolerance policy on defense, will probably have forgotten how to hit legally.  Meanwhile, Mr. Suh has greater troubles of an automotive nature than those on the gridiron at the moment…tough times in the Motor City.  Seems like a race to the bottom between the floundering Lions and Bears.
Detroit 23, Minnesota 20

New Orleans (-3.5):  The resurgence of Chris Johnson notwithstanding, the Saints have demonstrated that their offense, when in synch, is nearly as horrifying as the undefeated bunch in Wisconsin.  While this spread seems just a bit too tempting given the massive dome advantage the Saints receive and this game’s locating in Tennessee, I just cannot see the Titans scoring the 24-27 points that would be required to cover this spread.
New Orleans 30, Tennessee 20

Philadelphia (+3):   Both of these teams are playing for pride and the honor of their maligned head coaches.  Sadly, last week, only one of these two teams seemed to display any sense of professionalism.  My suspicion is, following ten days to relax and feel the wrath of the Philadelphia media, this team demonstrates that it is not the bottom-dweller it appears to be and the newly formidable Dolphins are not about to recapture the glory of 1972.  Vick is back, Maclin is back, and I am fully prepared, following this game, to utter the phrase, “my four and nine Eagles.”
Philadelphia 24, Miami 20

Kansas City (+10.5):  The Jets have shown nothing offensively which would suggest that they deserve to lay 10.5 against anyone, even the floundering Chiefs.  Though Palko, whose name and and style of play seem eerily reminiscent of Shane Falco (Keanu Reeves’ character in “The Replacements”) is  uninspiring, the Chiefs D’ actually seems legit.  This game will stay somewhat close.
New York Jets 20, Kansas City 16

New England (-9):  Unlike the previous game, the Patriots absolutely warrant such a spread.  Since their loss to the Giants five weeks ago, the Patriots have surpassed 30 points four consecutive games (averaging 34).   I see no reason that will not continue.  Thus, I ask, are you comfortable betting on Rex Grossman and Roy Helu to score 25+?
New England 34, Washington 20

CAROLINA (+1.5):   Atlanta has outscored its opponents by only five points in total in its road games (and that includes its 24-point beating the Colts in Indy). In has outscored its opponents by twenty at home despite losses to the Packers & Saints.  This game is being played in Carolina…where perhaps the “lion” that is Cam Newton will get his other animals all riled up.  Truth be told, this is a game Cam should win.
Carolina 27, Atlanta 24

Tampa Bay (-3):  Welcome back Josh Freeman.  In case there were lingering questions regarding the Buccaneers’ decision-making at the quarterback position, last week’s results under Josh Johnson should assure the fans that the backup is certainly worse.  The Panthers could not stop the run against anyone…and yet they stuffed the box, held Blount to 19 yards on 11 carries, and the backup QB still could not pull it out.  They’ll be invigorated to be facing a quarterback in Blaine Gabbert who will not run for three scores like Cam did last week…
Tampa Bay 20, Jacksonville 13
Indianapolis (+16.5):  Dear lord.  I’ve been wrong with the Colts all season long.  Having thought the Patriots would utterly humiliate them, and seeing them scratch and claw, perhaps this game will be respectable.  Then again, perhaps the Ravens defense will simply overwhelm an overmatched Dan Orlovsky.  Mr. O, short for “Mr. 0-16,” will become his nickname as he has already quarterbacked a Midwestern town in a dome to an 0-16 record…and now he aspires to duplicate that feat.  Nonetheless…
Baltimore 24, Indianapolis 10

DENVER (-3.5):  Great.  I haven’t gotten a Tebow pick right since the Jets game, and that might be the only one I’ve gotten right.  I don’t hate Tim Tebow, but I certainly hate picking his games.  The Bears are playing without a functional quarterback, and now, without the running back that represented the sole offensive weapon that presented matchup difficulties for opposing defenses.  I think Tebow will struggle in Chicago against a formidable defense.  However, if he finds a way to score 17 points, that should do it…As a side note, given the offensive woes of Caleb and Barber, if the Broncos punt to Hester, John Fox should be drawn and quartered.
Denver 20, Chicago 13

San Francisco (-3.5):  Simply a better team.  Kevin Kolb & Beanie Wells < SF Defense, Q.E.D.  Don’t punt to Patrick Peterson, hand the ball off to Gore and throw an occasional play-action to Davis to Crabtree.  Seems straightforward enough, and I believe Harbaugh, though no tactical genius, can certainly reach a similarly manageable conclusion.
San Francisco 23, Arizona 14

GREEN BAY (-11.5):  Bring on that 16-0.  Theirs for the taking should they be so inclined, the Packers play a California team at the frozen tundra.  Expect some ugliness.   Meanwhile, while everyone discusses the otherworldly performance of Aaron Rodgers (and indeed, he has been extraordinary), anyone notice that this team ostensibly lacks a running game?  Not sure this matters, it just seems unbelievable.
Green Bay 38, Oakland 24

SAN DIEGO (-7):  Meaningless games in December, mediocre opponent from the east coast traveling to California, Norv Turner knowing damned well that he’s going to lose his job and thus, feels no pressure.  Yep, sounds like an opportunity to pad the statistics and delight fantasy owners everywhere, most of whom are probably already eliminated having been thoroughly disappointed by Rivers and company.
San Diego 31, Buffalo 20

DALLAS (-4.5):  Most entertaining game on television today to be sure.  If only my Eagles were still in the mix, and thus, provided any functional rooting interest…I genuinely wish both teams could lose. Nonetheless, the Giants are beginning their annual late-season free fall, and the Cowboys, with the return of Miles Austin, seem ready to begin to light up the scoreboard once again. 
Dallas 30, New York Giants 21

St. Louis (+10):  The Seahawks beat an utterly disengaged Eagles team.  This makes the Eagles a disgrace to professional sports, their fans, and their city.  However, it does not make them a truly talented football team.  Despite their rather inept opposition, the Seahawks are simply not the type of team that deserves to lay ten points.  Expect Bradford & Jackson to show up and provide a minimal amount of offense…just enough to cover.  In other news, this is among the worst Monday Night Football games in recent memory.
Seattle 20, St. Louis 13

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