Picks:
CINCINNATI (-3): T.J. Yates on the road, sans Andre Johnson,
against a legitimate defense, in a game the Bengals absolutely must have. I recognize that the Texans are formidable
along both lines…but this rookie 3rd stringer had one pick-six
called back for a phantom defensive holding call and several other throws that
looked seriously questionable. Arian
Foster is not Barry Sanders – not enough to change the outcome.
Cincinnati 20, Houston
13
Minnesota (+9.5): Without the boy named Suh, I suspect Joe Webb
and company will at least move the ball.
Detroit, having implemented a zero-tolerance policy on defense, will
probably have forgotten how to hit legally.
Meanwhile, Mr. Suh has greater troubles of an automotive nature than
those on the gridiron at the moment…tough times in the Motor City. Seems like a race to the bottom between the
floundering Lions and Bears.
Detroit 23, Minnesota
20
New Orleans
(-3.5): The resurgence of Chris Johnson
notwithstanding, the Saints have demonstrated that their offense, when in
synch, is nearly as horrifying as the undefeated bunch in Wisconsin. While this spread seems just a bit too
tempting given the massive dome advantage the Saints receive and this game’s
locating in Tennessee, I just cannot see the Titans scoring the 24-27 points
that would be required to cover this spread.
New Orleans 30, Tennessee
20
Philadelphia (+3): Both of these teams are playing for pride
and the honor of their maligned head coaches.
Sadly, last week, only one of these two teams seemed to display any
sense of professionalism. My suspicion
is, following ten days to relax and feel the wrath of the Philadelphia media,
this team demonstrates that it is not the bottom-dweller it appears to be and
the newly formidable Dolphins are not about to recapture the glory of
1972. Vick is back, Maclin is back, and
I am fully prepared, following this game, to utter the phrase, “my four and
nine Eagles.”
Philadelphia 24, Miami
20
Kansas City (+10.5): The Jets have shown nothing offensively which
would suggest that they deserve to lay 10.5 against anyone, even the
floundering Chiefs. Though Palko, whose
name and and style of play seem eerily reminiscent of Shane Falco (Keanu Reeves’
character in “The Replacements”) is
uninspiring, the Chiefs D’ actually seems legit. This game will stay somewhat close.
New York Jets 20,
Kansas City 16
New England (-9): Unlike the previous game, the Patriots
absolutely warrant such a spread. Since
their loss to the Giants five weeks ago, the Patriots have surpassed 30 points
four consecutive games (averaging 34).
I see no reason that will not continue.
Thus, I ask, are you comfortable betting on Rex Grossman and Roy Helu to
score 25+?
New England 34,
Washington 20
CAROLINA (+1.5): Atlanta has outscored its opponents by only
five points in total in its road games (and that includes its 24-point beating
the Colts in Indy). In has outscored its opponents by twenty at home despite
losses to the Packers & Saints. This
game is being played in Carolina…where perhaps the “lion” that is Cam Newton
will get his other animals all riled up.
Truth be told, this is a game Cam should win.
Carolina 27, Atlanta 24
Tampa Bay (-3): Welcome back Josh Freeman. In case there were lingering questions
regarding the Buccaneers’ decision-making at the quarterback position, last
week’s results under Josh Johnson should assure the fans that the backup is
certainly worse. The Panthers could not
stop the run against anyone…and yet
they stuffed the box, held Blount to 19 yards on 11 carries, and the backup QB
still could not pull it out. They’ll be
invigorated to be facing a quarterback in Blaine Gabbert who will not run for
three scores like Cam did last week…
Tampa Bay 20,
Jacksonville 13
Indianapolis
(+16.5): Dear lord. I’ve been wrong with the Colts all season
long. Having thought the Patriots would
utterly humiliate them, and seeing them scratch and claw, perhaps this game
will be respectable. Then again, perhaps
the Ravens defense will simply overwhelm an overmatched Dan Orlovsky. Mr. O, short for “Mr. 0-16,” will become his
nickname as he has already quarterbacked a Midwestern town in a dome to an 0-16
record…and now he aspires to duplicate that feat. Nonetheless…
Baltimore 24,
Indianapolis 10
DENVER (-3.5): Great.
I haven’t gotten a Tebow pick right since the Jets game, and that might
be the only one I’ve gotten right. I don’t
hate Tim Tebow, but I certainly hate picking his games. The Bears are playing without a functional
quarterback, and now, without the running back that represented the sole
offensive weapon that presented matchup difficulties for opposing defenses. I think Tebow will struggle in Chicago against
a formidable defense. However, if he
finds a way to score 17 points, that should do it…As a side note, given the
offensive woes of Caleb and Barber, if the Broncos punt to Hester, John Fox
should be drawn and quartered.
Denver 20, Chicago 13
San Francisco
(-3.5): Simply a better team. Kevin Kolb & Beanie Wells < SF
Defense, Q.E.D. Don’t punt to Patrick
Peterson, hand the ball off to Gore and throw an occasional play-action to
Davis to Crabtree. Seems straightforward
enough, and I believe Harbaugh, though no tactical genius, can certainly reach
a similarly manageable conclusion.
San Francisco 23,
Arizona 14
GREEN BAY (-11.5): Bring on that 16-0. Theirs for the taking should they be so
inclined, the Packers play a California team at the frozen tundra. Expect some ugliness. Meanwhile, while everyone discusses the otherworldly
performance of Aaron Rodgers (and indeed, he has been extraordinary), anyone
notice that this team ostensibly lacks a running game? Not sure this matters, it just seems
unbelievable.
Green Bay 38, Oakland
24
SAN DIEGO (-7): Meaningless games in December, mediocre opponent
from the east coast traveling to California, Norv Turner knowing damned well
that he’s going to lose his job and thus, feels no pressure. Yep, sounds like an opportunity to pad the
statistics and delight fantasy owners everywhere, most of whom are probably
already eliminated having been thoroughly disappointed by Rivers and company.
San Diego 31, Buffalo
20
DALLAS (-4.5): Most entertaining game on television today to
be sure. If only my Eagles were still in
the mix, and thus, provided any functional rooting interest…I genuinely wish
both teams could lose. Nonetheless, the Giants are beginning their annual
late-season free fall, and the Cowboys, with the return of Miles Austin, seem
ready to begin to light up the scoreboard once again.
Dallas 30, New York
Giants 21
St. Louis (+10): The Seahawks beat an utterly disengaged
Eagles team. This makes the Eagles a
disgrace to professional sports, their fans, and their city. However, it does not make them a truly
talented football team. Despite their
rather inept opposition, the Seahawks are simply not the type of team that
deserves to lay ten points. Expect
Bradford & Jackson to show up and provide a minimal amount of offense…just enough
to cover. In other news, this is among
the worst Monday Night Football games in recent memory.
Seattle 20, St. Louis 13
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